Stupid Comment #2: It Will Be Okay

This comment is insidious. It is one of those comments that sounds kind and caring and comes from a well-meaning person who cares about our feelings. Until you stop to think about it. I always end up angered well after the person has left my sight, well after I could have said "how in hell do you know?" It's because these people do not understand the basic fundamentals of the life of a baby-loss mommy.

It is not going to make it "okay" when we get pregnant again. The excitement of seeing a positive pregnancy test was swiped from us when we learned that such horrible things could happen.

It is not going to make it "okay" when we have our rainbow baby. We may want this baby, but we wanted that baby too, and it was cruelly stolen from us.

It is not going to suddenly be "okay" at some date 20 years down the road. We are always going to mourn the loss of our child(ren) and we are going to see our angels every day in the faces of the rainbow children we have, and of the children who are not ours who should have been the same age as our angel(s).

The truth is, things will never be "okay" ever again. We will always be missing our babies like we are missing an appendage. The only thing that would make everything "okay" is if this never happened to us. If all of us were sitting here with our babies on our lap, or if we weren't on the computer at all because we were hanging out with our child and having that conversation again about which features belong to mommy and which to daddy.

So unless you're in touch with the force(s) of the universe and you know that we are going to get our babies back through some type of time reversal, do us all a favor, and shut the hell up or we'll fit you with that muzzle.