Stupid Situation #1: Complaining About Your Living Children

There is one thing that separates a baby loss mommy from a regular mommy. The baby loss mommy does not have a baby at home. This seems like such a simple concept, yet people seem to forget it. People seem to think that I am going to sympathize with how long it is taking to toilet train their beloved toddler, or how horrible it was to have to stay up all night with their crying infant.

Let me correct that assumption. I would trade with these people in an instant. Any baby loss mommy would.

We would love to spend all night awake trying to coax our newborns to sleep instead of spending all night awake because nightmares haunt us at every sleeping moment.

We would love to clean pee and poop off of our exquisitely tiled floors again and again instead of deciding to scrub the toilet for a fifth time because the hard labor seems to be the only thing that takes our thoughts away from the fact that we had to bury our child.

We would love to have to stop the car every 15 minutes on a long trip because our little boy or girl has to go to the bathroom instead of stopping the car every 15 minutes because our tears have blinded us from driving.

Do not complain to us about your living children, the ones that you are lucky to have been able to bring home from the hospital. Do not whine about the lack of sleep, or the extra cleaning you are forced to do, or how you have not been able to see any movies because your children take up too much time.

You are lucky enough to have brought home a child. You are lucky enough to be able to raise your child, to lavish your child with attention, to teach your child everything, to have hugs and kisses from that child every day.

I hope that it doesn't take losing a child of your own to finally understand true suffering. Until then, just keep your complaints to yourself and your mouth shut.

Leash Your Dog, Not Your Child

There seems to be a terrifying trend lately of people rediscovering the joy of a leash, but not on their family dog, on their child. After all, why hold your beloved child's hand when you can leash them instead? This way you can talk on the cell phone, all why little Bobby tries to run away but to no avail.

What sickens me more, is that most come in these innocuous cute little animal backpacks, perfect for these people to stick their cell phone, lipstick, and other things into. This way, their child can carry their purse for them. These children have become pack mules at the tender age of two. Or perhaps these parents are trying to provide these toddlers with strength training.

It is when the cell phone goes off in the cute little bunny backpack, that you see the parent yank their child in, and frantically search for their ringing phone, the entire time ignoring their child.

One reason given for leashes is that toddlers can dash into the street or into a crowd at a moment's notice and therefore leashes provide a measure of safety for your child. If you refuse to be a PARENT, then you have raised your child to have no self-control and to be a terror. However, there's still an answer for this: hold your damn child's hand.

Another reason given is that parents cannot possibly watch their children at all times. It is not the women who momentarily look away that are leashing their children. It is the women whose attention is undividedly on the cell phone conversation they are having. If their attention can be 100% on a cell phone conversation, then it should be 100% on watching their child. Even on the cell phone, however, there's a solution: hold your damn child's hand.

I am not perfect, and I know that when I am fortunate enough to bring home my child from the hospital, that my attention will flicker at some point. However, there's a difference in being momentarily distracted, and in an extended period of ignoring your child. You can damned well guarantee, however, that when you do see me, I will be lovingly holding my children's hands.

Women, wake up.

You wanted a child and were blessed and fortunate enough to be able to bring one home from the hospital. Unless you are trying to introduce your children into bondage, or teach him/her that they should be treated as the family dog, hold your child's hand. Be a parent, and teach your child what safety means, and don't be afraid to teach your child that it's wrong to run into the street. Be a PARENT and watch your child. Don't rely on a leash to do it for you.

If you can't, perhaps it's not your child who needs a leash, perhaps your husband should put one on you.

For a (hopefully) satirical view on leashing your child, visit www.leashyourchildren.com.

Are You Going to Purchase Your Baby? Then Why Is It In Your Shopping Cart?

This is a shopping cart. This is what people put milk, eggs, vegetables, etc. in. This is what people use to put in things they wish to buy. Apparently there are a large number of people who wish to buy their baby. After all, why else would they put it in the shopping cart?

Every time I go to the grocery store I see more than one person who thinks it's a good idea to use the shopping cart as a convenient baby tool. The shopping cart is big enough to fit a 24-pack of paper towel, but it's not designed for that. It's obviously designed to be just wide enough for these people to fit the infant car seats into.

Once their precious bundle of joy is in the shopping cart, well then there's a problem. There's no room to put the groceries! They could just throw a bottle of ketchup and their toilet paper on top of the baby, but that would be awful, wouldn't it? So they use the little area at the front to fit all of their groceries. (Haven't these people ever heard of carrying their baby? That's a tirade for a different day...)

Here's the kicker. After giving a loving look to their child who they fought so hard over nine months to have, and fought for many hours to deliver, they...walk...away. I have seen these women (and men!) leave their child in a shopping cart to get something from a shelf twenty feet away or to have a conversation with another shopper.

Aren't they concerned someone is going to snatch their baby?! It would take one second to pick that baby up and run down that aisle. It would take one second for them never to see their child again. What the hell is wrong with these people?!

If you're going to take your baby shopping, hold your baby, love your baby, and WATCH YOUR DAMNED BABY!! The cart even says "Do Not Leave Your Child Unattended"! Your baby is not a gallon of milk that can be replaced if someone steals it.

Maybe someone should. Perhaps only then would these people learn how lucky they are.

A Stroller is NOT a Battering Ram!

Women seem to pay an exorbitant amount of money to purchase a "travel system", a contraption that will allow women to push around their baby everywhere (because, why would you want to carry your precious bundle of joy...that would be work!), detach their baby via a baby suitcase (sorry, an "infant car carrier"), and even make cookies (they do cost upwards of $300, and anything that costs that much must make cookies).

So, if I was searching for the perfect stroller, I would be searching for a stroller that would also protect this little life that I had labored so hard to make and that I loved with all of my heart. Going to Consumer Reports comes up with restraints, comfort, brakes, playtray, etc. All perfectly wonderful things to have if you're going to shell out this kind of money.

What Consumer Reports does NOT have rated is the ability of the stroller to work as a battering ram. See that little play tray above? Apparently it is quite useful as a weapon. How hard can you ram your stroller into a pole or another person without giving your baby a concussion? How hard can you run your stroller off of the curb and still keep the baby inside? How easy is it to run your stroller between a pole and a person without scraping up the side of your baby's face?

I cannot believe the amount of parents wrapped up in their own little worlds who cannot even begin to understand that even though this stroller is heavy-duty, it is not meant to be the sole protector of your child. As a parent, YOU are.

So this tirade goes out to all of the stupid people with their stupid strollers who not only get in the way, but who are endangering their children. I think any babyloss mama would say, "Give me the baby quietly and take your stroller and go away. Or I'm going to have to kick your head in."

Okay, maybe not that last part, but I'm sure it's pretty close.