Stupid Situation #1: Complaining About Your Living Children

There is one thing that separates a baby loss mommy from a regular mommy. The baby loss mommy does not have a baby at home. This seems like such a simple concept, yet people seem to forget it. People seem to think that I am going to sympathize with how long it is taking to toilet train their beloved toddler, or how horrible it was to have to stay up all night with their crying infant.

Let me correct that assumption. I would trade with these people in an instant. Any baby loss mommy would.

We would love to spend all night awake trying to coax our newborns to sleep instead of spending all night awake because nightmares haunt us at every sleeping moment.

We would love to clean pee and poop off of our exquisitely tiled floors again and again instead of deciding to scrub the toilet for a fifth time because the hard labor seems to be the only thing that takes our thoughts away from the fact that we had to bury our child.

We would love to have to stop the car every 15 minutes on a long trip because our little boy or girl has to go to the bathroom instead of stopping the car every 15 minutes because our tears have blinded us from driving.

Do not complain to us about your living children, the ones that you are lucky to have been able to bring home from the hospital. Do not whine about the lack of sleep, or the extra cleaning you are forced to do, or how you have not been able to see any movies because your children take up too much time.

You are lucky enough to have brought home a child. You are lucky enough to be able to raise your child, to lavish your child with attention, to teach your child everything, to have hugs and kisses from that child every day.

I hope that it doesn't take losing a child of your own to finally understand true suffering. Until then, just keep your complaints to yourself and your mouth shut.