Everyone reading this is painfully aware that Mother's Day is around the corner. This day is the bane of all baby loss mommies, especially the ones that can only visit their children at the cemetery. So let me make one thing perfectly clear from the beginning of this post.Any woman who has conceived a child is a mother. After all, we have brought forth life, whether we miscarried our angels, they were stillborn, or they died of SIDS.
NOTHING and NO ONE will ever take that away from us.
Baby loss mommies wear a special Mother's Day badge, one of a grieving mother. It is an unspeakable horror to have to bury your child. Your child is supposed to bury you when you are old and gray and after you have spoiled your own grandchildren. I dare anyone to tell me that we wouldn't have done anything to save our child's life if we could. And as much as a non-baby loss mother is wonderful for paying for her child's dance lessons or rooting her child's football team, that mother has nothing on what we have had to endure as mothers.
Facing Mother's Day without our little angels, whether they would have been old enough to make you a homemade card, or whether they would have been little enough to just open their eyes and smile at you, is something that we should not have to do alone. All of us have to put up with hearing all of the special events for "Mom's only" and see our coworkers, friends, and family produce gifts that they have received from their child(ren).
Since only we will be able to remind ourselves, I encourage us to go out and buy that bracelet that says "Mom" and wear it proudly. I encourage us to call our friends who have loss a baby of their own and wish them a "Happy Mother's Day", or at the very least a peaceful one. If your mother has been there for you during this horrible time in your life, I encourage you to tell her how much you appreciate her love and support. She may never understand, having not been through it herself, but she sees her child hurting, and as we all know, we would do anything to take that away.
And if someone dares to tell us that we don't get to celebrate this very special holiday? Tell them to shut up, and be brazen about it. Only when we come together as a baby loss mother force of nature will people perhaps finally stop to listen and realize that we are all mothers too.
Much love and peace to all of you baby loss mommies this Sunday.
Just wanted to tell you that you are a mother, anybody who has carried a baby in their body and given birth is a mother. And not any less of a mother who has living children. I will be thinking of you on Mother's Day....
ReplyDeleteYour words are so true. I lost my baby in January, and Mother's Day was very difficult for me. Thanks for putting it into words that really hit home.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for participating in the Face of Loss, Faces of Hope May Blog Hop.....we're so honored you shared your blog with us!
ReplyDeleteSuch a powerful post. Thank you for your candidness and your honesty. I find that I need that reminder every once in a while. I lost my first born to SIDS in Oct, and have since been struggling to find where I fit it. I was determined to ignore Mother's Day, and tried my best to, however, it was my family and friends that gave me the constant reminder that I *am* still a mother. I will always be a mother. It's just so hard to feel like a "mother" when you are mothering the memory of your precious child rather than them physically. So I thank you for reminding me, and all BLMs that we are, most definitely, mothers.
xoxo,
Tiffany
Thank you all so much for your comments. I want this blog to be about honesty, some of the things we are thinking, but sometimes are too afraid to say out loud. We are definitely all mothers. Much love to all of you.
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