Stupid Situation #10: Getting a Second Opinion on Baby Loss

A dear friend who just had her rainbow baby hooked me up with her doctor. The reason? After a bout of tests had been done and nothing had been discovered, my losses have been chalked up to the infernal "bad luck". I was told by my doctor that it would probably be fine next time.

You know what? Probably isn't good enough. You'd think that the doctor would be sympathetic enough to try anything and everything to help us. Instead, all I was told was to sit on my hands and wait.

So I saw a new doctor. I figured if she said the same thing after running tests, then I would sit back and let luck try a spin again. To my delight, this doctor, after learning my story, was pissed off. She told me that she had seen too many women with my story come into her office with a difficult or not found yet clotting disorder, she had put them on Lovenox injections, and suddenly a rainbow baby. It sounds a bit too good to be true, but seeing her want to get to the bottom of my situation gave me a new lease on hope.

The other surprising outcome? She thinks my losses are related. She's the first doctor I've spoken to who actually believes me. Until now, my stillbirth and my two miscarriages have been compartmentalized because my son had a perfect 20 week ultrasound. The truth is, at some point all three of my babies stopped growing. Doesn't that seem odd to anyone else? It did to me, and it does to my new doctor.

So I picked up my records at my old doctor and brought them over. They were supposed to have been at the new doctor's office for my appointment, but the medical records department decided that there were too many to fax, so they did nothing.

And yes, I opened them. And read. And read. And read.

I was told that my son died of a stricture in the umbilical cord. I was not told that my son had a small placenta. I was not told that the placenta had potential clotting activity.

And I am pissed.

I still have to get past step one of getting pregnant again, but once I do, it's quite clear who I won't be seeing anymore. Much love to my new doctor for being willing to help me, and to my friend who showed me the way. And for the old doctor? Karma's a bitch.