Poodle Syndrome: Your Baby is Not a Fashion Accessory!

I am noticing an alarming number of women lately who have decided that their baby (born or unborn) is their new fashion accessory, much like a poodle with a jeweled collar that is for ornamentation and attention. One of these women was heard saying, "Is it okay, since I'm having a summer baby, to lay out on the beach all day with it?"

I haven't had the fortune to be blessed with a living child yet, however, I know a few things:

Babies poop.

Babies spit up.

Babies pee.

Babies emit other bodily fluids that I'm sure I will get used to.

Babies do not sleep when you want them to.

Babies need attention.

Babies get sun burned.

Does this woman think that this baby is going to be dressed up in a cute little sundress with sunglasses hanging out in a baby suitcase (otherwise known as an infant car carrier) and it's going to sleep peacefully while she lies out on the sand for her 6-8 hours on the beach and not have any of these typical baby things happen?

Then there are the women who are at Babies R Us, complaining vigorously to their husbands that my GOD, they cannot get this stroller because it does not match the car seat or the bouncer or the swing or the high chair.

Then there is the woman I saw the other day, heavily pregnant, placing a pair of sparkly hooker shoes on the conveyer belt with her perfectly groomed hair, brows and nails and her Coach bag. With the other items she had on the belt, it was apparent that when this child came, it would be dressed like her and it would quickly learn materialism. I'm pretty sure this is a woman who also was more concerned with finding out the sex of the child than finding out if her child was healthy.

Is it wrong to think of my (hopefully) soon-to-be-here rainbow as a child that I want healthy and happy, and I don't care if it doesn't have a onesie that has a perfectly ornamental gerber daisy bigger than its head to match (if it's a girl). Am I so wrong to think that maybe the first several months of this baby being here is going to be hard work, where I am sleep deprived and in need of a long, hot bath that I will never take?

I really hope that these women get an awakening. I really hope that these women learn to get their priorities straight, that having a baby is the most rewarding gift of all and something that shouldn't be taken for granted. I really hope that these women's babies spit up in their Coach bags.