Sunday, April 22, 2012

Surviving Mother's Day as a Baby Loss Mommy

I cannot believe that we are approaching Mother's Day again. I remember last year when for Mother's Day I was pregnant with my rainbow, and I remember miscarrying a week or two after. I remember going to work and hearing everyone tell all of the mother's with living children Happy Mother's Day, while completely ignoring me. I remember crying at my desk and thinking "I am a Mom too."

I remember loving spending time with my mom, but I really remember hating Mother's Day. Luckily, my husband saved it somewhat by gifting me with a beautiful memory bracelet with the birthstones of my three angel children.

This time I am farther along with my rainbow, in fact I will be full term, but the pain is still the same. While I am happy and terrified with a smidgeon of hope for my rainbow, I know I will spend time at the cemetery again, wondering why for some women pregnancy is so easy. Some women just "snap their fingers" and magically get pregnant and have their babies, one after the other, and some of us struggle and deal with pain that these women will never know.

I know all baby loss mommies dread this day like no other. It's important for us to remember to acknowledge our friends and loved ones who have lost babies too. We need to remember for each other and reach out and tell each other Happy Mother's Day, because we all are mothers, some of us are just forgotten ones.

I hope that all of us can celebrate this year or next with our rainbows, and as we hug our rainbows tight, we can still honor our angels who came before. And I really hope that a couple weeks after I will be gifted with a fourth birthstone charm to add to my bracelet, this time one to represent a rainbow.

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